AWKWARD FAMILY CHRISTMAS GIFTS

Do you have a relative who always gives holiday gifts that are a bit, well, odd?

In our family, it’s my husband.  I’ve written in The Mother Loadabout some of the “unique” Christmas gifts my husband has given the children or me:

·       the furry moose slippers with felt antlers,

·       the wooden moose bookends (yes, the man apparently has an affinity for moose),

·       the long underwear in basic black,

·       the backyard bat-house he hoped would attract bats and drive away mosquitos.

Yes, my husband’s gifts are always…interesting.

But I can say with some certainty that he’s not the worst offender out there.  Because I know the legend of Aunt Mim.

Mim is the aunt of a good friend, and here’s a sample of the gifts she has given this friend and his wife over the years:

·       A tie that belonged to Mim’s deceased husband (with his initials still embroidered on it);

·       A package of 3 dirty golf balls, with a huge gash on one of them;

·       A used silk scarf, still reeking of Mim’s perfume;

·       A pen with someone else’s initials engraved on it.

Please note that Aunt Mim is by no means “poor,” though clearly she can be described as thrifty.  Apparently, Mim once wrapped a vase and gave it to her sister, forgetting that the sister had given her that vase the year before.

Still, Mim doesn’t have a corner on the re-gift market.

For several years, my husband and I hosted a New Year’s Eve party that included a “Re-gift Yankee Swap.”  Guests re-wrapped and exchanged the most awkward gift they had received that year.   Memorable re-gifts included a few hideously ugly ashtrays and ornaments; a bottle of chocolate-flavored face-wash; a roll of yellow “CAUTION” tape; and a 6-pack of a half-beer, half-clam juice drink called Clamato.  The Clamato drink was so, um, “unique” that several cans from the 6-pack would return year after year.  It became the very definition of a “gift that keeps on giving.”

Perhaps the next best-selling humor book will be “Awkward Family Christmas Gifts.” What is the oddest holiday gift that you’ve ever received?