Do you have a relative who always gives holiday gifts that are a bit, well, odd?
In our family, it’s my husband. I’ve written in The Mother Loadabout some of the “unique” Christmas gifts my husband has given the children or me:
· the furry moose slippers with felt antlers,
· the wooden moose bookends (yes, the man apparently has an affinity for moose),
· the long underwear in basic black,
· the backyard bat-house he hoped would attract bats and drive away mosquitos.
Yes, my husband’s gifts are always…interesting.
But I can say with some certainty that he’s not the worst offender out there. Because I know the legend of Aunt Mim.
Mim is the aunt of a good friend, and here’s a sample of the gifts she has given this friend and his wife over the years:
· A tie that belonged to Mim’s deceased husband (with his initials still embroidered on it);
· A package of 3 dirty golf balls, with a huge gash on one of them;
· A used silk scarf, still reeking of Mim’s perfume;
· A pen with someone else’s initials engraved on it.
Please note that Aunt Mim is by no means “poor,” though clearly she can be described as thrifty. Apparently, Mim once wrapped a vase and gave it to her sister, forgetting that the sister had given her that vase the year before.
Still, Mim doesn’t have a corner on the re-gift market.
For several years, my husband and I hosted a New Year’s Eve party that included a “Re-gift Yankee Swap.” Guests re-wrapped and exchanged the most awkward gift they had received that year. Memorable re-gifts included a few hideously ugly ashtrays and ornaments; a bottle of chocolate-flavored face-wash; a roll of yellow “CAUTION” tape; and a 6-pack of a half-beer, half-clam juice drink called Clamato. The Clamato drink was so, um, “unique” that several cans from the 6-pack would return year after year. It became the very definition of a “gift that keeps on giving.”
Perhaps the next best-selling humor book will be “Awkward Family Christmas Gifts.” What is the oddest holiday gift that you’ve ever received?